Sometimes we can feel we are doing everything possible but still not getting anywhere. So I wanted to share with you a few of my own thoughts around feeling stuck, in any aspect of your life.
In rigidity we get trapped, the illusion of life becomes that we believe we are doing all we can, what else can we possibly do? Yet this is not so. By flexing, moving with the wind we grow, adapt and throve. If the goal is there, how many more paths to that happiness can exist?
But how do we flex? By letting go of the times we find ourselves saying, I can't or I do not know. I cant's implies you have given up, even if it takes tinme there is always a way to achieve that thing that you wish to, tune your radio to I can, and before to long you will be finding new solutions. I don't know is not a dead end, it should be followed with, but I can find out. Never be afraid to ask for help or guidance, there will alwyas be someone out there who is willing to share that one bit of information that may be the key to you moving forward. Remeber the goal is your happiness, the journey will be rich and you will learn and grow aling the way, but you may not always want to do those things that are necessary to move you forward. Beware of this, if you are saying I cannot, or I dont want to, there is a good chance that the solution that frees you up lies in that direction.
If you are focusing upon your goal/ goals then allow the way to lead you. I want to do x, but the money is not coming in at the moment to make it happen. So how do you get that money in, there are always options. It may mean doing something you do not want to for a while, but it is all experience and you can choose to enjoy it or not. At the end of the day it is only ourselves that chain our reality. Consciously or Unconsciously. If you are feeling fear in a certain direction, go there, the resistance you feel is telling you something. If you think you are doing your best but still not getting where you want to be, do not lot let but if I do this become your mantra. Let As I do this it will lead to this become your guiding thought. If you are thinking you are doing your best and you are not getting there, there is still something more to be done. Step outside the walls you have built around you, go to the place that feels uncomfortable because that is where your next lesson and step lie.
Embrace opportunity, look for those that make you come alive, fill you with excitement, a little nervousness and then go there, step into thos experiences. You are the path and you are the obstacle. Do not hide from the world, a torch is only useful when there are people there to use it. And if you believe one hundred percent that you are right and there is nothing more you can do you are either not living your true purpose, or, you have to ask yourself, "If I am right now, how much more right can I be in the future?"
And look after you, the better place you are in, the more you will find life flowing, those things you strive for being more in reach. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. See the life you are a part of as the great teacher, your lessons being played out within it.
Find that fear, that step you feel most reluctant to take and take it, let go of fear and just do it.
Most of us are familiar with the idea that we only use a small amount of our minds true potential. Yet how many of is know how to use the bit we do correctly. The following is a brief guide to how to use your mind effectively and powerfully, allowing you to get the most out of 2018.
The Subconscious mind is a vast repository of possibility and power. You literally have within your mind a tool that can change your experiencing of you, which in turn will change your life experience. I am not saying you can change reality, but you can change your self, which in turn will transform how you experience reality and how you live your life. The subconscious mind protects us, unfortunately it does not always act in our best interest. With a natural inclination to pattern match, often we will have reacted in a certain way to a certain situation, our subconscious mind will then cause us to react in that way to any situation that seems similar. Which then forms behavioral habits. These habits can be beneficial, or if the founding experience had a negative edge can hold us back and affect how we experience the present. Rather than experiencing every new moment as a fresh experience, the past is allowed to taint the moment. If that past is one that holds fear, hurt or other negative experiences then a moment of possible new potential and opportunity maybe lost due to accessing those past moments.
The wonderful thing is that we can work with our subconscious minds, we can create a new reality, reprogramming ourselves, freeing us from past patterns, habits and behaviors and creating an us that lives more fully, more authentically. Take for instance a grey and rainy day. You may wake, look out the window and tell yourself that this is a grey, miserable day, your subconscious mind will evoke all the past grey miserable days and all the negative feelings associated with this from the past. You get out of bed and everything is an effort. Alternatively you can wake up on the same morning, see the rain and clouds and think about how amazing it is that we have this life sustaining rain, that were it not for the rain we would not live in such a green and pleasant land (based on being in Britain.) You may think about how those small rain drops join streams and rivers, flowing into the sea, all the life that the sea holds and marvel at how amazing life is. Just this change in thinking, just this change in WHAT YOU TELL YOURSELF will send you off into the day feeling good.
5 keys to your reality.
1. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between dreaming and waking. To your subconscious mind, if you imagine it, it is real. I want you to imagine having lost something important to you. Not a memory, but imagine having lost something you possess at the moment, or someone if you really want to go there. Notice all the feelings that are associated with that loss, notice that just as you start to imagine it, the longer you spend on it, the more you actually start to feel those feelings. Now stop that and start to imagine having achieved something, a goal, notice how as you start to really picture that moment, as though it was now you start to experience the birth of those positive emotions. What we tell our subconscious mind becomes our experience. If you imagine being able to fly like a bird you may be disappointed, but tell yourself that you feel good and today is a good day and you will begin to experience that.
2. Have you ever made a goal, told yourself that in a few weeks time you will do..... Did it happen? Consciously we know that achieving things takes time. Our conscious is that logical, analytical part of our minds, it does not dream, it dissects. It is also aware of the transition of time., To the subconscious everything is now, there is no recognition of past or future. So allow a memory to haunt you and you experience its affect now, even though you consciously know it is not happening in the present. So if you tell yourself I will do this, I will make that you are only communicating with your conscious reality. The real power in achieving success and transformation lies in the subconscious mind. So when setting goals, or working on your personal development it is important when imagining and picturing to see yourself having already made that change/ having achieved now, in this moment. For example, you want to feel more confident when you next go out for a drink. If you say to yourself, " I will be more confident when I next go out out for a drink, picturing that time in the future you are only engaging a fraction of your potential. Alternatively, spend some time each day saying, "I am confident now, having a drink with friends." Imagining being with your friends and seeing yourself as that confident you, you are more likely to affect that change in your life. So if you were work with affirmations & suggestion or visualisation, be in the present, work in the present tense. Then you are connecting with the reality of your subconscious.
3. Your subconscious mind does not contain the truth about reality, it presents to you the reality you have told yourself and been told. Imagine you have been told that you should not eat curry from an early age, that it burns and is not pleasant. Due to this you have never eaten it, when you are at college your new friends say they are all going out for a curry, you decline because curry is bad and burns. You have missed out on an experience because of the limiting belief about curry, the truth is there are lots of different curries, yes some are hot, some are not. Now apply this idea to other areas of life. Ever find yourself talking yourself out of a situation because you do not feel good enough, or just plain telling yourself,"I can't do it." Our experience of reality is literally limited by our imaginations. Our beliefs are both a blessing and a curse. How much more life could you be experiencing if you were able to change those limiting ideas. So next time you had an opportunity to try something new you were able to embrace the opportunity fully, rather than letting past programming from yourself and others hold you back.
The thing is you can. It is possible to start reprogramming the subconscious mind, being aware of our limiting thoughts and ideas. Using the imagination, being aware of how what we tell ourselves, what we imagine to be true for us becomes true.
4. You can do it, you can do it, you can do it. Repetition... The beliefs that hold you back are a result of things others have told you and your own experiencing. If you tell yourself something once it does not mean much. repeat it a couple of times you may recall it. Repeatedly tell yourself something is a certain way and it will become that. At school I was told that I could not sing by the music teacher, pretty damning really. I could have just accepted that, telling myself at every opportunity not to do it. This would have become my reality, I would get to later in my life and feel a frustration, may even have developed a resentment for music because deep down inside I wanted to sing. Fortunately, I am stubborn, despite being told that it was something I enjoyed and so I continued on, always with the belief I could sing. Now at age 42 I have been singing and performing with music for over 20 years. I have performed to up to 3000 people in one audience and the one compliment I get more than any other is what an amazing voice I have. The danger with negative ideas is we repeat them till we believe them, then we give up.
5. For those who are spiritually inclined the subconscious if the gateway to our higher selves. Think about meditation, first challenge, getting past the thinking mind. A lot of people give up because they tell themselves they cannot do it. So if you are starting to meditate, before you try to meditate, imagine, picture yourself as though you are meditating now. How you feel, how you look, tell yourself, "I enjoy meditation, I am someone who experiences deep levels of meditation, effortlessly and easy. Talk yourself into it, not out of it. The true self is that part of us that is the observer, depending upon your path this can be interpreted as the fully functioning self, the universe, spirit, divinity. The universe/ God/ Higher self communicates through the subconscious mind. It is through the vastness of inner space that we can connect to something that is more than we believe ourselves to be. By taking an active control of inner reality we literally have the ability to create the us we wish to be. I am not saying this in any Law of Attraction. cosmic ordering kind of way. Having money is not being the you that makes you happy, it is just possession. But with a greater understanding of the subconscious mind you can become a you that is no longer affected by their past, who lives in the present and shapes their experience. The universe is rarely just going to give you a £1000, but you can become the you that has the resources to generate that £1000. What is more, you can enjoy creating it. How? By telling yourself that this journey of life is fun, that you enjoy the challenges as much as the good times. You have the power to shape your experience of your reality.
One of the great tools for taking active control of our experiencing is through hypnosis, self hypnosis and also meditation. To find out about upcoming events or chat about making changes to your life click HERE to visit the events page
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I believe that you and I are not as different as we believe, I believe that at an inner level, you and I have all the skills, wisdom and power that we need to make changes to our lives. To live congruently with ourselves, to live an authentic life in balance with ourselves and our needs. We have an innate calling to become all that we already are, ourselves made perfect. I also believe that when we choose to make those changes that are in alignment with our true self, be it by ourselves, with the support of another or in groups that we witness something that is both profound, beautiful and transformative. At that moment of change, something happens, that something I call magic.
I can hand on heart say I believe in magic. But let me expand upon this, how I come to this belief and what I mean by this.
From early on in my life I have always had a fascination with magic, the mind and the idea of reality. By the age of eleven I found myself reading books on hypnosis, psychology, spirituality and esoteric subjects such as shamanism & ritual. I had an interest in the work of secret societies and a fascination with belief. I first hypnotised someone in junior school, the second time at senior school at about age 12, this occasion got me into a little trouble, who would have thought teachers believed in spells? As time moves on I started to explore meditation, self hypnosis expanding my knowledge and experience, willing to explore many different areas. I am not going to go into lots of detail, that is a conversation we can have when we meet some time. I merely tell you this so as to show you that these areas of study have been a part of the majority of my life. Not, as my mother had thought, "just a passing phase that I would grow out of."
I spent a number of years working with children with behavioral issues. During this time I was introduced to the work of Psychologist Carl Rogers. Forgive me a digression. Have you ever looked at the underlying purpose of the world of real magic? From secret societies to the founders of the modern day witchcraft movements all were engaged with what was known as the "The Great Work." Put simply, a journey of self discovery upon which the soul aim is to become the very best expression of yourself possible. Also to be found in yoga and the underpinning of religion. In the writings of Rogers I discovered the core belief that all life has at its most basic fundamental level the call to grow, to become the very best it can be, mirroring the age old pursuit of humanity. In eastern spirituality this would be called self-realisation, in the western world and therapeutic world this is known as self-actualisation. The journey to becoming a fully functioning human being. In discovering this it felt that all belief, practice, religion etc had at its goal this guiding principal, about being the very best that we can be. Over millennia the approach to this personal development was de-mystified, dumbed down. Yet the process stays the same, self discovery leading to self transformation. At the end of the day there is little difference between the process of ritual and drama therapy. The acting out of certain ideas and principles to increase understanding of the meaning and purpose of beliefs, ideas and a given reality.
I trained as a person centered counselor. For me one of the most intriguing statements and driving factors has been from Carl Rogers reflecting upon his work,
" I am compelled to believe that I, like many others, have underestimated the importance of this mystical, spiritual dimension. "
I had seen the beauty of the person centered approach in action. Not just in the therapy room, but in groups, retreats and workshops. I saw for the first time what I chose to call real magic. That when given the right circumstance, when valued as an individual a person can find within all the resources that they need, all the possibilities to change, to become more than they thought they could. That is the moment of magic, that is the moment where we connect to something more than our own concept of being human, a personal alchemy, transforming the individual. It is a moment of beauty, it has a profound grace to it where, real healing and growth occurs. At the end of the day whether you choose to call it change, healing, growth or magic does not really matter, what matters most is it is real, it can be experienced, you and I can experience those moments of transformative growth.
By the time I was training as a counselor I also found myself running retreats all over the UK and into Europe. Personal and spiritual development weekends drawing on techniques ranging from meditation, group discussions to utilising shamanic techniques and ritual drama to lead people to realisations and profound moments of change. At the this moment in time, looking at myself, looking at how I can bring change and transformation to others, I stopped. I got to the end of my Counseling Diploma and became a magician. Sleight of hand, mind reading and card tricks. It was at this part of the journey that hypnosis also re-emerged. I had gone from helping others create those magical moments of realisation and change to creating moments of magic that at the heart were performance trickery. On the other hand as with anything there is always a method that leads to the moment of magic. Be it therapeutically, transformationally or a moment of reality challenging performance.
Magic as a profession has been very good to me. I have met amazing people, performed for the famous been invited to some wonderful locations. Yet at the back of mind there was always something that was missing. To move myself forward I decided to seek a mentor. For any magicians out there I would offer a couple of words of advice. Firstly, when looking to develop your magic/ performance and if you want to create something different other magicians are not always the best place to go. They think like magicians, so you will only get more magician ideas. Step outside and seek guidance from performers from other disciplines, that way you may hit on that one idea that really makes you stand out from the crows. Secondly, always be careful what you wish for.
I decided to go and see Jonathan Chase (https://jonathanchase.com), I had been studying hypnosis more and more and felt that this was something that I could draw on, uniting it with my magic. I was asked why I wanted mentoring. As well as the hypnosis training I told John that I loved performing but something was missing, like there was something else I am meant to be doing and I wanted to uncover what it was. I did, and it was not magic.
Since then I have submerged myself in hypnotic learning, at the same exploring the parallels between modern ideas about mind, reality and human development with ancient systems of mind and belief. The Dalai Lama in an interview once said that the west had developed a science of the physical world and the East had developed the science of the mind and human potential.
What makes you come alive? What things do you do in your life that even the thought of fills you with energy and excitement? Really give it some thought and then when you realise what it is, do more of it. In some ways I feel like John deconstructed me and rebuilt me with a new vision. Reflecting that I had as much enthusiasm about magic as someone going to the day job, well it was, was it not? Yet when I talked about helping people on their personal and spiritual journeys, talked about the retreats and workshops that I used to run, something was ignited in me. I left with what at the time was quite a scary thought. That after 15 years of performing, it was not what I was meant to be doing. To step back into development and transformation work with people would be a huge step, lots of work on myself, lots of work on creating a brand new direction. I resisted the idea on and off for several months, but at the back of mind, somewhere within the depths of my being I knew this to be right.
You see for me, and that is the only way it can ever be. When you step into that communion with another human being. Step into that place that says, I believe in you, you can be more than you believe you can, something shifts. I have felt that shift many times before. In counseling sessions with clients, in humbling moments of connection at retreats and when working hypnotically with people. Carl Rogers talks about the almost mystical element that appears when two people are communicating at that deeper level where change is facilitated. That place is where real magic occurs, that is the moment where lives are changed.
In the following weeks, months years I wish to share with you my own thoughts on personal transformation, healing and growth. My ideas around hypnosis, change work and the beautiful moment that I call magic. It would be great to hear your thoughts and ideas as well either via the website or you can find me on
Until next time, be the magic....